Well… it had to happen… with all our economic turmoil, a top Russian official came out with a prediction that the US will split into half a dozen pieces.
Sure, he’s been saying this for the last 10 years, but what the heck, here goes…
Igor Panarin, a professor at the Diplomatic Academy of the Russian Foreign Ministry and the author of several books on information warfare, told the Russian daily Izvestia that the United States would soon fall apart.
When asked why, he said: “The financial problems in the US will get worse. Millions of citizens have lost their savings. Prices and unemployment are on the rise. General Motors and Ford are on the verge of collapse, and this means that all cities will be out of work. Governors are already insistently demanding money from the federal center. Dissatisfaction is growing, and for the moment it is only held back by the hope that Obama can work miracles. But by spring, it will be clear that there are no miracles “.
You forgot to say Chrysler.
Panarin, looking through a very ethnic lens, and first predicting this a decade ago at a conference in Australia, envisions six new nations… the Pacific Rim, with its growing Chinese population… the South, with its Hispanics… Texas… the Atlantic coast… five of the poorer central states with their indigenous populations… and the northern states, where he points to strong Canadian influence.
If you want to see for yourself on Izvestia, sorry, the website offers its Russian version but not the English translation. So what else can we do but have fun with this ourselves?
Oh yeah, he said Russia could get Alaska back, too… Governor. Palin, raise your dukes… not a word from Igor about the fate of Hawaii… that leaves us with the lower 48 states.
Pacifica: We imagine this new country would include CA, OR, and WA.
Southland — At first glance, this would have to include LA, MS, AL, TN, GA, NC, SC, FL, KE and AR.
Texas — Hmmm, let’s see now, this would have to mean…we have our thinking caps on…it would have to mean Texas!!!
Atlantica: Panarin would probably fill this one with VA, MD, DE, NJ, NY, CT, RI, MA, VT, NH, and ME.
Centralia — These five states… are central but are they poor? …apparently it would mean OK, KA, NE, WY, and CO.
Northernia – This new nation would have ND, SD, IO, MN, WI, IL, IN, OH, MI, PA, and WV.
But wait…this leaves out AZ, NM, MT, ID, NV, UT, and MO.
Alright…let’s add Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada and Utah to Pacifica…where else could they go…let’s add Montana and Idaho to Northernia since they border Canada…and Missouri…no I don’t have the least idea where to put Missouri.
And forgive us if we didn’t get 100 percent correct state postal abbreviations.
Could this really work? We already have a seventh new separate nation… the Republic of Show Me.
New York is presented as a proud member of Atlantica, but everyone resents the arrogant Manhattan, and the rest of New York is a basket case that no one wants to get involved in, so New York will have to become a separate nation. And that means the northern states would also have to be separate… call it Brrrit’scoldoutia.
We are up to nine nations.
Now consider Michigan. Her top college just got beaten for the fifth year in a row by the Ohio State Buckeyes, so until she has a better football team, she’ll have to wriggle out of disgrace on her own…though maybe Northernia gets the peninsula. superior.
Let’s think about Pacifica. California would like to have the capital of this new nation in Sacramento, Oregon in Salem, Arizona in Phoenix, New Mexico in Santa Fe, Nevada in Carson City, Utah in Salt Lake City, and Washington in whatever its capital is now. They would never figure it out.
We could go on and on, separating state after state as each has a fierce rival in football or barbecued ribs or something else equally important…until we have…guess what…50 separate nations.
Hey, we might as well stay together.
