Probably everyone in America has been tickled and/or tickled someone else in their life. And we can have a variety of emotions associated with the experience, from very good to very bad.
Why do we do it? Do people like it or hate it? Like many things in life, tickling can be used for good or harm.
So we know that people always laugh when they are tickled, and that laughter is good for us. Studies have shown that laughing increases blood flow and immune response; lowers blood pressure, risk of heart disease, depression, anger, anxiety, and stress; and induces relaxation and sleep.
However, laughing is simply not fun when it occurs in the context of tickling abuse. But wait a minute, can tickling really be called abuse? Some kids beg to be tickled, and since kids don’t ask for things they hate, they should enjoy it! They certainly like the attention, the physical contact and the pleasurable sensations associated with laughter.
But there is a dark side to tickling. The problem stems from the fact that laughter is generally a sign of pleasure, so the person being tickled is assumed to be having a great time. But the laughter resulting from tickling is a reflex, and the person being tickled cannot stop. While some people may ignore the fact that their victim doesn’t like it, others know and don’t care. Consider these comments I found on a Q&A site (I’ve changed a few words to protect the identity of the posters):
“The tickle has hijacked your body and you are powerless.”
“Excessive and forced tickling for a prolonged period is a malicious act with the intent to torture.”
“I honestly thought [this adult] He was very jealous of me and was trying to kill me.”
Some said they were tickled until they cried, vomited, choked, and/or wet their pants. It’s also worth noting that in my research for this article, the first results that came up for “tickle abuse” were for, say, adult-oriented websites!
Tickling has actually been used as a form of torture throughout history. Both the Han dynasty in China and ancient Rome used this practice, one of the benefits being that it left no marks on the victim! There are anecdotal reports of people going insane from being tickled and laughing themselves to death from a heart attack, aneurysm, or some other debilitating pre-existing condition. It cannot be stated unequivocally whether or not it is possible to die from tickling.
If tickling is so horrible, why do we laugh? The answer includes these factors:
1. nerve stimulation (an innate reflex)
2. trust (we laugh only when the tickle is someone we know)
3. surprise (we can’t tickle each other)
Beyond this, it seems that science does not know for sure why we laugh when we are tickled. So, what kind of meaning are we going to give to the phenomenon of tickling?
This is what I see:
In modern America, tickling is usually done in the context of a friendly or loving relationship: parent/child, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. Thus, it would seem that it is generally intended to be a bonding experience, and the resulting laughter confirms that it is a pleasurable experience. Often it is also done by a perpetrator who is bigger and stronger, or sometimes in pairs or groups of tickles that “join” the victim, which changes the picture a bit.
Once the victim is laughing so hard they can’t catch their breath, they can’t signal “stop.”
Here’s how to avoid being a tickle abuser:
1. Notice if the person being tickled is still smiling at the end of the tickling session, or is angry, moody, embarrassed, and/or in pain.
2. Ask the person before or after–not during–a tickling session if you really enjoy it. Don’t take “yes” at face value. Read body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. She may be saying yes just to please you or as a result of social pressure. (“Don’t be such a spoilsport”). Prepare a “stop” sign.
3. Ask yourself if you are willing to undergo a role reversal. Now, this isn’t fair if the person you’re tickling is much smaller (e.g. a child or girlfriend), so you’ll have to be willing to submit to a tickling “team” or a substitute . Keep in mind that the other person may be more ticklish than you, so even this is not a definitive test of the appropriateness of tickling.
Finally, you should consider that your victim’s experience with tickling may carry over into later relationships. Your child may resent you and he may not know why. He can grow to be bigger than you and find ways to retaliate. You may have a hard time trusting his male partners, fearing they’ll turn into abusive tickles.
Abusive tickling is not funny. Make sure your motives and methods are pure before giving in to the urge to tickle someone.
