Many people think that communication is easy. After all, it’s something we’ve done all our lives. There is some truth in this simplistic view. Communicating is easy. What makes it complex, difficult and frustrating are the barriers we put in the way. Here are the top 7 barriers.
1. Physical barriers. Physical barriers in the workplace include:
* Marked territories, empires and fiefdoms where strangers are not allowed to enter
* closed office doors, barrier partitions, separate areas for people of different status
* large work areas or work in a unit that is physically separated from others.
Research shows that one of the most important factors in building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as people continue to have a personal space that they can call their own, closeness with others helps communication because it helps us get to know each other.
2. Perceptual barriers. The problem with communicating with others is that we all see the world differently. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t need to communicate: something like extrasensory perception would take its place. The following anecdote is a reminder of how our thoughts, assumptions, and perceptions shape our own realities.
A traveler was walking along a road when he met a man from the neighboring town.
“Excuse me,” he said. “I’m hoping to stay in the next town tonight. Can you tell me what the townspeople are like?”
“Well,” said the townsman, “how did you find the people in the last town you visited?”
“Oh, they were a hot-tempered bunch. They kept to themselves. They played me for a fool. They overcharged me for what I got. They gave me very poor service.”
“Well then,” said the townsman, “you’ll find them more or less the same here.”
3. Emotional barriers. One of the main barriers to open and free communications is the emotional barrier. It is mainly understood of fear, distrust and suspicion. The roots of our emotional mistrust of others are found in our childhood and childhood when we were taught to be careful what we say to others. “Watch out for your P’s and Q’s”; “Don’t speak until they speak to you”; “Children should be seen and not heard.” As a result, many people refrain from communicating their thoughts and feelings to others. They feel vulnerable. While some caution may be wise in certain relationships, excessive fear of what others might think of us can impede our development as effective communicators and our ability to form meaningful relationships.
4. Cultural Barriers. When we join a group and want to stay in it, sooner or later we need to adopt the behavior patterns of the group. These are the behaviors that the group accepts as signs of belonging. The group rewards such behavior through acts of recognition, approval, and inclusion. In groups that are happy to accept you and in groups that you are happy to conform to, there is a reciprocity of interest and a high level of contact in which everyone wins. However, when there are barriers to being a member of a group, a high level of play replaces good communication.
5. Language barriers. Language that describes what we mean in our terms can present barriers to others who are not familiar with our expressions, buzzwords and jargon. When we express our communication in that language, it is a way of excluding others. In a global market, the highest compliment we can pay another person is to speak their language.
One of the most chilling memories of the Cold War was Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev’s threat telling Americans at the United Nations: “We’ll bury you!” This was interpreted as a threat of nuclear annihilation. However, a more accurate reading of Khrushchev’s words would have been: “We will catch up with you!” means economic superiority. It was not just the language, but the fear and suspicion that the West had of the Soviet Union that led to the most alarmist and sinister interpretation.
6. Gender barriers. There are clear differences between the speech patterns of a man and those of a woman. A woman speaks between 22,000 and 25,000 words a day while a man speaks between 7,000 and 10,000. In infancy, girls speak earlier than boys, and by age three, they have twice the vocabulary of boys.
The reason for this lies in the wiring of the brains of a man and a woman. When a man speaks, his speech is in the left side of the brain, but not in a specific area. When a woman speaks, the speech is located in both hemispheres and in two specific places.
This means that a man speaks in a linear, logical and compartmentalized manner, characteristic of left brain thinking; while a woman speaks more freely mixing logic and emotion, characteristics of both sides of the brain. It also explains why women talk for so much longer than men each day.
7. Interpersonal barriers. There are six levels at which people can distance themselves from each other:
1. retreat. Withdrawal is an absence of interpersonal contact. It is both the refusal to be in contact and the time alone.
2. rituals. Rituals are meaningless, repetitive routines devoid of real contact.
3. hobbies. Hobbies fill time with others in social but superficial activities.
4. working. Work activities are those tasks that follow contact rules and procedures but no more.
5. games. Games are subtle and manipulative interactions where it’s about winning and losing. They include “rackets” and “seals”.
6. closeness. Closeness is the goal of interpersonal contact where there is a high level of honesty and acceptance of oneself and others.
Working to improve your communications is a general activity. You have to change your thoughts, your feelings and your physical connections. That way, you can break down the barriers that stand in your way and start building relationships that really work.
