This may surprise you, but I am convinced that those of us who will cross rivers, scale mountains, and jump out of railroad cars to find the objects of our desire have much in common with Harrison Ford’s character in the Indiana Jones series. Obsessed collectors are a tough breed and could replace Ford at any time. Maybe it’s time for Spielberg to acknowledge our abilities and add some of us to his short list for future adventure movies.
I’ve been thinking about how Indiana Jones-like we are ever since Raiders of the Lost Ark hit the big screen, but haven’t dared share my suspicions until now. What has prompted me to spill the beans? Yes, you’re right…it’s the recent release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The confidence to speak out on this subject is a result of finding myself right in the middle of all the movie action last summer when Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg whizzed past me while filming in New Haven, Connecticut. How lucky I was that my daughter just moved into an apartment inches from “the set.”
I fought through the crowd to watch in awe as Spielberg and Ford whizzed around the town of Elm in one of those “director-like trucks” with on-board cameras. From noon to dusk, I joined other mesmerized fans to watch in excitement as vintage cars and buses sped down Chapel Street, New Haven. For me, a retro enthusiast, I can’t tell you how cool it was to see all the storefronts in Chapel converted to look like 1950s stores. My favorite was Woolworths because the storefront resembled the cover of my first book, Hot Kitchen & Home Collectibles of the 30s, 40s, 50s. If he had known that Spielberg was “doing Woolworth” he would have gladly sent him a copy of my book for reference. And if Spielberg had called me, I would have been happy to provide him with some boxes of old shoelaces and some cans of moths for his window display.
So let me get back to the heart of the matter, why I’m confident in saying that all of us who think about 24/7 tag sales and climb tall buildings looking for someone else’s junk, we’re well prepared to be understudies for Ford… like Indiana. Jones, we approach “the hunt” with passion, enthusiasm and boundless energy. When we get the collecting bug, we run out of the house and get lost for hours and sometimes days on our mission to find some hidden treasure that we must have. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing will stand in our way. Extreme weather, hunger pangs, full bladders, flat tires, you name it… nothing will interfere with making it to a morning estate sale or charity flea market. True collectors are determined and fearless warriors with tremendous zeal and stamina.
I’ll be honest with you, when we get called for service we really should have someone else drive us because we can be very dangerous on the road. We have superhero vision and can spot a tag sale three blocks away and we’ll do nothing but block six cars in three lanes to get there. Once the tag vending radar has been activated, we race towards the finish line as if there was a fire or medical emergency. Our sixth sense for picking up clues that flea markets, yard sales, and auctions are coming up is phenomenal to witness.
But somehow, this heightened sensitivity to our surroundings falls apart when it comes to the weather. I’ve seen friends leave their coats, hats, and gloves in their car as they line up in the freezing cold to be let into a dynamited real estate sale. When the pot of gold is so close, what’s a little frostbite here and there? Let’s face it, we’re just too excited to take the time to dress for the weather. Just as terrifying is what happens to relentless shoppers in the summer months. How many times have you seen a fellow collector overwhelmed with heat exhaustion walking across the hay-covered grounds of an outdoor antique show or flea market? Otherwise, sane people drenched in sweat, red as lobsters, can be seen making just one more purchase before collapsing.
The weather isn’t the only hurdle obsessed collectors must overcome. Equally challenging is how to survive long periods of time without food and water. How many of you, like me, rush out the door in the wee hours of the morning skipping breakfast for a chance to check out a fabulous moving sale? This is where a few mints you find in your pocket or a stale piece of bagel you forgot to throw away the day before saves the day. And I said the same thing about breakfast when it comes to stopping for lunch. Who among us will interrupt a juicy garage sale or a three-level antique store with multiple vendors for a turkey Panini? and a bottle of spring water. When we’re on a chase, we really are too consumed with our prize to care about such trivial matters as food and drink. Did I just write that? If we find ourselves getting a little dizzy, we know to dig deep into our fanny packs or purses for hard candy or gum.
And I’ll point out another curious trait that I’ve also noticed about “hunting types”. Like Indiana Jones, when we’re exploring what’s known as “junk,” we rarely need to stop to go to the bathroom. I have two theories about this finding. (1) as “old warriors” we eat and drink very little while on a mission and simply don’t produce much in the way of fluids and . (2) as devoted collectors, we train ourselves to wait until after dark to use the facilities because we already know from past experience that we shouldn’t expect to find a “real” bathroom when we’re in the middle of a cow field or in a cave, garbage dump gold, gold attic treasure hunt.
In conclusion, I think I have made my point. If we can brave the heat and cold, survive without food, water, and bathroom breaks, and also carry six full shopping bags at once, we have what it takes to be Indiana Jones!
