So you’ve finally decided that you really want to divorce your “supposed” partner for life. The relationship has deteriorated to a point of no return and you want out.
While you were married, you lived like an ordinary married life. You had children, you participated in their activities; you helped with homework, volunteered for school, watched their art performances and sports competitions, took them to ballet and instrument classes, met their friends’ parents and shared some great stories, carpooled, etc.
They had a joint bank account: without even thinking about it, they shared household expenses, children’s activities, vacations, family outings, clothes, medical expenses, braces, etc. You bought a house, cars and other good things for everyone to enjoy; you may have even given your children the gift of a private education.
You had a home, you shared the pleasures and responsibilities of owning a home; You did chores, you shared in the maintenance of this beautiful place, in its decoration, in the placement of your beautiful furniture, in the payment of services and taxes.
He made sure the patio was as beautiful as his living room, he had a garden, he called the plumber and electrician when needed, he kept the air conditioning and heating vents in good working order, and he did everything he could. your reach to have a happy home.
You had a good social life. You had good friends; you received your spouse’s friends as if they were your own, you celebrated dinners and birthday parties; you visited others as they visited you; you went out to clubs and restaurants, you were a member of a club, maybe, where the two of you shared a lot of experiences with each other, and so on.
You had a great family life. Although not perfect, you treated your in-laws well, had Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, spent time together, exchanged gifts, shared laughter and tears, celebrated birthdays, and mourned deaths.
You had a good leisure life: you went to the theater, watched movies and some TV specials, went to concerts, played tennis and other sports, and shared hobbies, among other things.
In short, you had a great ordinary life, with its ups and downs. You lived “for better and for worse” as you thought you should. Now you realized that you have distanced yourself and that the company of your spouse is no longer a pleasure. You have learned to live your own life, you refuse to share a bed and you want nothing to do with this person with whom you have shared your life.
You have learned to disrespect, to despise and to hate. This same being who was once the perfect life partner is now an unknown person and you couldn’t care less if this person is happy or if this person is living in hell. Are you ready.
You have reached the terrible point of no return and no matter what you hear about divorce it will not convince you to continue in such a rotten relationship.
Very well.
But think about it for a moment: are you absolutely certain that this is the best course of action? Of course, the relationship as it was no longer exists. But can you find a way to change this relationship and create a different one where no one is sacrificed?
Think about what you stand to lose if you get divorced: your full-time children, your family life, your home, your friends, your financial security and shared expenses, and your lifestyle. In short, everything. Is this a price you are willing to pay?
Now consider this: are you ready to see a once-perfect couple become your deadly enemy? Have you thought about what kind of cruelty someone you were once intimate with will inflict on you? Because this is what usually happens when there is a breakup, especially when there is bitterness. Your spouse could lose civility and will surely become a nightmare.
Now forget everything you’re going to lose. You can certainly deal with them. But can your children? Can you see your children losing most, if not all, of the privileges they are accused of because their lifestyle will sink in several areas? Can you now rely on your spouse to care for your children part of the year, when you are not around for damage control?
Can you let go of everything that is very dear to you because of your inability to see the house through the bushes? Or do you think you could try and recreate a relationship for the good of all? It’s possible, you know.
Think about it.
