10 signs that you are being used in a relationship

Waking up to the truth about who is around you can hurt. A lot.

(Not for the faint hearted). But when you constantly give and don’t get what you need, it’s time to be honest. Yeah, it sucks, but does it really? It sucks MORE if you don’t.

Because giving more than you get means you’re surrounded by users and that leads to HUGE resentment, EXHAUSTION and puts a huge FULL POINT in your own personal trajectory.

That’s why it’s so important to BE REALIST about who you give your energy to, because that person? It could be the reason you’re not really going anywhere.

Come with me and let’s take a look around…

First of all, tell me out loud: what would the next 6 months look like if you were operating at your full potential? No drains on you?

Now I know you know the obvious drains on your greatest potential (like procrastination).

But what about the people close to you… is it possible that you are giving more than what you are receiving?

And someone who takes more than he gives? Unless they’re sick or going through a rough patch, long term takers?

We call USERS. Because they USE their time for their own purposes.

10 signs that you are being used in a relationship, friendship or business relationship:

1. They talk about themselves and ask how you are doing almost like an afterthought.
2. If you talk about yourself, you become all too aware within moments that his awareness has drifted… so you walk away and the conversation dies down…
3. However, the conversation always flows when you talk about them.
4. They are quick to point out how what you did hurt them.
5. But get angry/manipulate/blame/when you tell them you’ve been hurt. So you don’t really go there because you know they’re going to make it all about them anyway.
6. You often feel bad for them, so you often apologize, cap in hand, and put their needs first. It is easier.
7. They don’t see your needs as important as theirs.
8. His words sound affectionate, but his actions are anything but. Don’t be fooled by his words. Always.
9. You are so busy supporting them that you have stopped realizing how badly they treat you.
10. You feel tired after being with them. So tired in fact that you have stopped your own trajectory.

So what do you do if you realize with some horror that you might have a user in your midst? Someone who is using you to get to the top. Using you for his own selfish sexual needs in a relationship?
Using you to solve their problems instead of going to a trainer? Using you to feel better? To earn a lot of money for themselves? To get what they want?

You DECIDE that YOU and your beautiful energy matter. That you will continue to go nowhere until you transform this relationship or let it go.

You’re hurting your long-term prospects more than you think because:

• They are not as loyal to you as you are to them. You always show up for them. And if you’re honest, they don’t treat you with such consideration.
• They don’t respect your time, your feelings, your professional position, your limits or when you say no. Sooo exhausting.
• They don’t say thank you.
• They make you wait.
• They do not invest in you or your future.
• They don’t credit their ideas or input, and they don’t apologize.
• They get angry if you stop giving them what they want: your energy, your body, your attention.
• They are overly sensitive to how you treat them, but they seem to miss all the details that are important to you.
• They withhold money, payments, promises and promotions.
• They don’t really care about your future. If they did, they would ask how you are doing and genuinely support you in reaching your future as well.
• You will continue to be disappointed, resentful, and exhausted in this relationship as long as it is unfair.
• They get up and get what they want, whereas if you’re honest, you’re still standing.

Here’s the sad fact about users:

They use you and your energy because they are misaligned themselves: instead of receiving energy from spirit and themselves, they have found it easier to get it from you. And you’re giving it So they get attached to you and use you.

But users often feel empty, so they have to call you a lot or find ways to be close to you.

Here’s the thing: there will always be people who have forgotten that they ask too much of others and don’t give enough. You can only be in relationship with them if you have also forgotten and give them your valuable energy instead of teaching them to find it within themselves.

So, here is my mini guide to unhooking a user:

• Write down the cost of your energy for a user instead of building your future.
• Thank them for this healing mirror. They are a mirror of your apathy for yourself. They couldn’t do this to you if you weren’t doing it to yourself.
• Start doing one thing a day towards YOUR future.
• Stop taking his calls. Gradually wean them off by not responding as many as the weeks go by.
• If you get a call, just start by saying “hi, I only have 10 minutes to talk, so I’ve set a timer on my phone so I don’t miss my next appointment.” goes off so they can hear it and say “I have to go” and LOWER THE PHONE.
• A true friend, lover, boss will fully support you in this. A user will try to continue speaking through it.

Remember who you really are.

Remember why you are here on this planet.

Use your energy wisely.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Has this ever happened to you? How did you disengage?