There are a number of things that can bring a relationship to an end, and some of these things get more public exposure than others. For example, it is not uncommon to hear about someone who had an abusive partner and how this caused their relationship to end.
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In addition to being in an abusive relationship, there are those who were in a relationship with someone who was continually cheating on them. Now while this is what some people have been through, there are undoubtedly people who are going through this kind of thing right now.
Hidden
If you are in a relationship with someone who is abusive, you probably know it (that is, unless being treated in this way is normal and therefore does not stand out). However, if you are in a relationship with someone who is having an affair or who is habitually cheating, you may not realize it.
So one can believe that they are in a relationship that is going well, only to have a partner who shares their body with other people. Your lack of knowledge of what is happening is going to save you a fair amount of pain, at least in the short term.
Matter of time
But sooner or later they will surely have an idea of what is happening. They may see something that makes it clear to them that their partner is deviating, or they might just feel that something is not right.
What they do at this point can depend on a number of different factors. If you are a fairly strong and confident person, you might end up talking to your partner directly about what you have in mind.
Other approach
Alternatively, they could be so caught up in their idealized version of their partner that they cannot fully accept what is happening in front of their eyes. So enduring what is happening will be painful, but it will be even more painful for them to accept what is really happening.
Perhaps one does not feel very strong inside, which has led them to see their partner as the center of the world. So your eggs will all be in one basket, so to speak, setting you up to be emotionally dependent on your partner.
A complex dynamic
What this illustrates is why some people just put up with their partner’s cheating and do nothing about it. In this case, they won’t even try to figure out what’s going on; just putting up with their behavior.
On the other side of this, of course, is the big question as to why someone keeps getting lost. There are a myriad of reasons why someone would behave this way.
A reason
There are hundreds of lists that explain the different reasons why this occurs. If these common reasons cited are set aside, it will create the space to become aware of another reason that is often overlooked.
The thing to bring to the table here is that although human beings look like one person from the outside, it doesn’t mean they are one person from the inside. Inside, they may have many different beings within them, with a different self taking over at different times in their life.
A closer look
So, let’s say there is the self that appears when one’s relationship is going well and another self that appears when it is not going well. The first party might experience self-control, while the other party might have no self-control at all.
When this second part appears, their impulses could end up dominating, making it more or less impossible for them to resist what is happening. However, if this part of them has taken over, they may not want to resist.
Inner disharmony
Once this part is no longer in control of them and they are able to think clearly, they could end up overwhelmed with guilt. It could appear as if they are possessed by something, vowing never to behave this way again.
However, days or weeks could go by and you could end up doing the same thing over and over again. Then it will be clear that trying to fight this part of them is not going to work; another approach will be necessary.
A divided self
In addition to the different selves that are within them, there will be a part of them that is conscious, the part that simply observes. The self that takes control and causes them to lose control, for example, may be the result of early childhood trauma.
One may have had an experience that was too painful for them to handle, and how they felt then would have been erased from their consciousness. Their experience would then have been divided so that they could handle the amount of pain they experienced.
Lack of integration
But even though this part of them broke up so many years ago, it is still influencing their lives. There will be times when this detached part will be like a piece of paper flapping in the wind and not near them, while there will be other times when it will be in their face, preventing them from seeing clearly.
As long as this part, along with all the other parts, is within them, it will be a challenge for them to act as a conscious human being. It will be normal for them to act destructively to themselves and others.
Conscience
If someone can relate to this and wants to become a more integrated human being, they may need to seek outside support. This can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer, for example.
