The way a person is an adult is largely influenced by the way they were raised as a child. A background check on the offenders will reveal any of the following: (1) the child did not receive enough love and positive attention; (2) the child received no positive encouragement (children, like any of us, need validation) and, what is worse, was subjected to humiliation, eroding self-confidence and building an inferiority complex and low self-esteem; (3) the child was cruelly treated through disproportionate anger and punishment. When children do not receive positive feedback and a nurturing environment from at least one parent, the tendency is to seek acceptance and attention elsewhere, often through their peers. Then, when they become out of control adolescents, we think it’s a normal process that they go through, and going through adolescence is the most challenging part because it’s at this stage that they’re between childhood and adulthood and on the way. to find your identity.
Successful parenting can be achieved by anyone, even with single parents, and no matter the situation. Here are some sound words that can help you achieve this:
(1) Give unconditional love and positive attention: Love your kids just for being your kids, not because they excelled in school or sports, not just because they show talent, but just for being your kids. Give them a lot of attention, communicate a lot, give them a hug or a reassuring touch, take time to listen to them. Attend school functions. Enjoy activities with them, do things together, whether it’s a fun activity or chores around the house. Children love and seek attention from their parents; whether they get it positively or negatively depends on what the parents reinforce. If they don’t get positive attention and acceptance from parents, they will always look elsewhere, and peers are their most likely resource. Create a stronger bond with your children and they will always gravitate towards that bond.
(2) Create a positive environment within each child: As children grow they need affirmation of what they are doing, it reinforces a habit or behavior. So, always keep in mind to praise good work and achievements, no matter how small those successes are; for them, it can already mean a lot and this builds self-confidence. Support their interest and encourage them in what aptitude or talent you can see in your child. Conversely, when he does something bad or unpleasant, don’t reprimand him without telling him why, and if you have to, do it as calmly and privately as possible: humiliation, especially in front of others, creates low self-esteem and resentment. , and a possible start of hostile behavior. Also, NEVER compare one child to another. Always remember that each child is unique and has their own abilities or characteristics.
(3) Teach them responsibility: love but don’t coddle – even as young children they have to learn responsibility, like putting away their toys, making their bed, setting aside study time, even sharing small chores – this in particular 2 things, you teach them responsibility and serves as a bonding activity as well. Teaching them responsibility can also be done by showing them that receiving something they want is sometimes a reward for positive behavior, that in their own way they “worked” for what they received. Give positive reinforcement and encouragement for a fact or action.
(4) Teach them to be kind and helpful and to appreciate what they have. Teaching your children to be kind and helpful creates a kind spirit within them. Similarly, letting them appreciate what they have will create a positive outlook. When my children were growing up, and we saw unfortunate or unpleasant situations, I would always tell them how blessed they were that they were not in the same situation but at the same time, seeing how blessed they were, let them go through it out of kindness. . The best way to show this is when they see this in you!
(5) Give them the gift of inner strength, to accept mistakes, rejection and failure in a constructive way – Knowing that it is normal to fail (and not be scolded for it!) and to make mistakes is a good exercise in teaching to children inner strength. from the beginning, that things happen sometimes and that the important thing is that he or she did the best they could, not THE best, and that they learned from these mistakes instead of sulking and reflecting on these mistakes. Another important way we can teach our children inner strength is to not give in to everything they want. As parents, we are sometimes guilty of doing this, but instant gratification every time will not build character in children, but rather help them realize that they can’t have everything they want, but spelled out in a loving way.
(6) Put motivation in a positive perspective: When you encourage your child to do things, especially in school, teach him the value of doing his best, rather than negative programming. “Study or you’re grounded”: This makes for short-term negative motivation, rather than teaching your child the value of her future.
(7) To some extent, involve them in the current situation; How you handle this will depend on the age of the children. Knowing the right moment and the way to say this is crucial. Are you having certain financial struggles? Serious marital problems even to the point of divorce? While these are adult problems, they can be communicated to the child to some degree. This gives them a solid grasp of reality. The key here is to explain it in the least negative way possible without showing bitterness but rather acceptance and optimism.
(8) Learn when to ask for forgiveness: As adults and parents, we are not infallible. Sometimes a sudden outburst of anger from a parent, or a false accusation, will cause a child to feel down. Learn to apologize to them, at the same time this also teaches them to be humble and do the same.
Successful parenting involves a lot of love, patience, and communication. The key is to develop a close and positive relationship with your children and they will win no matter what situation the family finds itself in, even in the midst of a broken marriage or divorce. We only get one chance to raise our children: once they grow up crooked, this is hard to correct. Therefore, the greatest gift we can give our children is to raise them with the right values, attitude, and character.
“If we die tomorrow, the company we work for may replace us in a week, but our family will feel the loss forever. However, we spend more time with work than with family, an unwise investment.”
