Every once in a while you meet someone who has mastered the art of living, someone who doesn’t just move through life waiting for a certain time or place or person to make their time here a life of significance, someone who doesn’t just live on the surface, but actually absorbs it; The good and the bad; someone who treats life like a true adventure.
I recently had a visit from such a person. This is a man who touched the lives of my deceased brother, taken too young, and my family many years ago. We were all so young then with our whole lives ahead of us. It’s been so long, imagine my surprise when a seemingly unrelated set of circumstances brought us together after all these years. (You know, as I get older, my belief in and awareness of serendipity increases!)
It seems that Coach Harvey has written a book about his life, his adventures and some of the people who have left footprints on his heart. He is by his very description an ordinary man but he is clearly exceptional. What an honor to receive the book and discover that he has devoted a chapter to the special bond and relationship he shared with my brother during and beyond his days as quarterback for Coach Harvey’s team in high school. Aside from the inscription he wrote in my book, he said, “I really hope you find joy and interest in reading this, my memory book.” I did Coach, I really did.
After receiving the books, one for each member of my family who is still here, we had a chance to talk on the phone. At most meetings, there were promises to get together for a visit the next time he passed through Phoenix. Of course I thought it was another one of those well-intentioned but never-realized plans.
Well, this man is full of surprises. Around 4:00 on a recent sunny afternoon, my mom gets a call from Coach Fred Harvey. He’s in Tucson and would love to see us all and catch up. She surprised me… um, yeah?
Here is an 87-year-old man driving from Mississippi to Prescott, Arizona, to be with an old friend in a nursing home he visits tirelessly every year. He is agile, interested and interesting with a very sharp memory, quick wit and his eyes still sparkle with genuine delight. He has stopped to visit several people on his way. He tells us that he has to be home before spring break is over because he’s coaching a high school team again. After retiring several times, he discovers that he still misses him. Over the years Fred has traveled and trained in many foreign countries and I can only imagine the number of young people and their families on whose lives this man has left a mark. He talks about maybe writing another book.
As I listen to their stories, like everyone’s life, some are sad, some are happy, but at all times the only thing you hear loud and clear is an unwavering and ever-present passion for living and what comes after. I find myself inspired to do the same. Listening to him reminds me of when I was younger and lived what they call a spontaneous life; when I was itching to stray off the beaten path just to see what might be there and if I’d like it.
I have always heard the best coaches and teachers lead by example; Now I know this to be true. Thank you Coach Fred Harvey for visiting him and his message is loud and clear…
As Nina Maddux wrote in the foreword to her book and perfectly captures the essence of his story, the man he is, and more importantly, the lesson we can learn from him:
“All the emotions I experienced while reading Oh yeah. I’d do it all over againIt inspired and challenged me to seize the moments as they come, hold on to them, learn from them, and never give up.”
I couldn’t have said it better. As we parted, each of us received a big hug and a kiss on the cheek as she said, “I always tell people I care that I love them because you may never see them again.”
So what are the lessons I picked up?
Life is sweet and too precious to waste. Isn’t there something else for you?
Write the book, climb the mountain, visit the homeland, start the business you love even if you’re not a millionaire, work on a cruise ship, dance the tango in a foreign land, eat the cake, push the grandchildren too hard. , tell yourself how cute and special you are and everyone else while you do it.
It really is that simple, sixteen the moments, drop the ‘shoulds’, do the ‘wants’ and look for what follows and you will find it!
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