You see each other, you like what you see and you talk a bit, you discover that there is a connection between you and you get to know each other better, you start dating and before you know it you are in a relationship. Like all relationships, you have your good times and your bad times. I don’t know if his relationship had problems or if he thought everything was going well. And then for whatever reason, you hurt him. And somehow, you want to get him back after hurting him deeply.
You have obviously realized, perhaps too late, that you love him and that you believe that your relationship still has potential. Before you talk to him, before you apologize to him, before you make your promises, you need to know why you hurt him. Could it have been a stupid mistake or was it more? For you to hurt him like this, there had to be some issues in your relationship that led to what you did. Relationship problems are not an excuse, what you did was of your own free will, but you have to deal with them or else your relationship will stand no chance.
Why do you want to be with him?
Does he still want to be with you?
If you want to get him back after hurting him deeply, you must be sure that he is the one. You hurt him a lot and he will be going through an emotional roller coaster, he will be nervous about trusting you again, so when you try to get him back, you have to be 100% sure that your relationship is meant to be. If you have any doubts, your body language will give you away.
When you enter into a relationship, you give your partner your trust, after all, you cannot build a relationship without trust. As you get to know each other more, that trust increases or decreases, depending on your experiences with that person. Even something as simple as saying you’ll take out the trash and then doing it builds confidence. Every time you say you will do something, you give your word. Every time you keep your word, your partners trust you increase a fraction. Although trust is the foundation that sustains your relationship, it is also very fragile. When you break trust in your relationship, you destroy something that may never be rebuilt.
When you destroy trust in your relationship, your relationship will never be the same again. Restoring their trust in you will be a long process, and if you want your relationship to survive, you have to do whatever it takes to get it back. You have lost the right to be automatically entrusted to you, you have to regain your trust. On a more positive note, if you both work to heal your relationship, you may become stronger than you were before all of this started.
You need to give her time to work through her emotions, trying to talk about things when both of you are emotionally tense will only make things worse.
To get him back after hurting him deeply, you need to show that you can be trusted and that you understand the damage you’ve done him. You must take responsibility for your actions and admit what you have done. You must tell him everything, if he still has unanswered questions, he will not get a close and he will be suspicious of your motives. When you apologize, you need to let him know that you will never do it again and show him how you understand how you have hurt him.
As you talk about what you did, it’s a good time to see why you did it and any relationship issues that might have pushed you in that direction. You should deal with your problems in a way that you are both happy about. Talk about the future of your relationship, talk about what you will do to regain his trust and if there is anything he wants you to do.
If you need to see his phone records or his emails, if you need to know who he is with or what he is doing, let him know. If you say you will do something, do it. Every action you take that reaffirms their faith in you will rebuild trust.
If you can get it back after hurting him deeply, then you can use what happened as a springboard to reinvigorate your relationship. Do what you can to make your relationship the best it can be. By being totally honest about what you do and sharing your life with him, you can graduate to the point of sharing your lives together. If you both love each other and are committed to healing and rebuilding the relationship, then you have a chance to build something special.
