If you are unhappy, even miserable, you are not alone. In 2013, the Huffington Post reported that only 1 in 3 people are very happy. So two-thirds of us are in the contiuum between something unhappy and miserable.
Martin Seligman is an expert on the psychology of happiness and in a recent TED talk, he shared what he has learned about how we are on the wrong track. We believe that pleasure will bring us happiness, but we are wrong.
Most of the time, when we are unhappy, we feel that the remedy is to seek pleasure. It makes sense. Go see a movie, enjoy a delicious meal, head to the spa or the mall. And while those things can make us feel happier in the moment, they don’t have a lasting effect, so we need to keep doing it. Generally, this leads to avoiding life, obesity, and credit card debt, adding to our misery.
What Seligman suggests is that purpose is what makes us happy. And the great thing about it is that there are a multitude of ways that we can personalize life’s purpose, it costs nothing, and it makes the world a better place.
When we have a purpose, we don’t just feel happy. We feel good. And when our purpose is aligned with our values, we feel fulfilled.
The other benefit is that the effects appear to be long-lasting. When you think of that sumptuous meal you enjoyed on your 10th anniversary, it might make you smile, but when you think of that clean water system you helped install in Haiti, there is a deeper sense of fulfilling a life purpose.
The purpose is different for everyone. Consider which group is really important to you. What group has a place in your heart? They can be children, dogs, cats, the elderly, people living in poverty, adults living with autism, Alzheimer’s, children suffering from obesity. If you have a lot of opinions about something or are passionate about it, that can give you clues about the purpose.
Then consider what you would like to do to help them. This is where passion and skills come together. What are you good at that you also enjoy? Do you like fundraising? Work with people directly? Do you provide counseling, writing, or emotional support? You can apply almost any skill to benefit any group that interests you and wants to help.
Often times, people are so passionate about something that they want to start their own nonprofit organization. That can be a wonderful thing, but keep in mind that perhaps most of your time will be spent in administration.
Instead, consider finding an existing nonprofit that can put your skills to work quickly. You can search for “volunteer + (name of your city and state)” to find opportunities if you’re not sure where to start.
Of course, you don’t have to formally volunteer for a purpose. Purpose can show up in your work, in your daily life, and in your relationships. The important thing is to know your purpose and live it; The consistency with which you can do this in each part of your life will help you determine how happy you are.
