Some people go to great lengths to ‘protect’ themselves from cruise ship-borne germs. I’m not talking about people with obsessive-compulsive disorder who have a legitimate obsession. I’m talking about the sheltered paranoid freaks who no longer enjoy the benefits of a healthy immune system because they’ve completely destroyed every bacteria on their person with antibacterial gels, creams, and probably suppositories. Many cruise passengers step into their stateroom and quickly wipe down every conceivable used surface with disinfectant wipes: light switches, door knobs, faucets, and phones. Some go as far as placing the TV remote in a quarter-size Ziploc bag.
I don’t blame you, dear reader. Take a few precautions to feel better. But rest assured, the ship’s crew has already done that. At each home port, room attendants disinfect all high-touch items in the cabin, especially the bathroom. That bathroom has about 400 times less bacteria than your office desk. But go ahead and clean the toilet seat again. Better yet, bring those disposable paper seats. Good?
Remember: cruise ships clean everything beyond what land-based businesses require. They are required to do so. In fact, as a waiter, he blanched restaurant and kitchen stuff every day until my fingers literally split open. Yes, we waiters whiten those menus, salt and pepper shakers, even the backs of the chairs. Butlers whiten elevator buttons and rails. If a virus outbreak occurs on board, we double wash all the dishes, we double wash all the glasses, we double wash all the silver. Feel more secure?
You shouldn’t. Bwah-ha-ha!
Why am I making fun of you like this? Because you gentle germophobe brought a bunch of bacteria with you. Take your toothbrush, for example. You put it in your mouth twice a day, or at least you should. However, his mouth contains billions of bacteria. According to WebMD, scientists have identified more than 700 different types of microbes in the average human mouth. Every ER doctor knows that bites from the human mouth are much more prone to infection than those from animals.
But it’s not just your own badness on your toothbrush. If you don’t cap that wet toothbrush, you’re potentially contaminating it by just flushing the toilet paper seat and all. The researchers found that flushing the toilet sends a stream of water droplets contaminated with bacteria and viruses into the air. These float around a bathroom for at least two hours after each flush before landing on surfaces, like your toothbrush. [University of Arizona Department of Soil, Water and Environmental Science].
What about the toiletries you brought with you? Ladies, how often do you sanitize every tube, handle, and applicator in your makeup bag? Guys, do you bleach the handles of those razors?
freight no. You need bacteria to stay healthy. Why do you think babies put everything in their mouths? They are strengthening their immune systems! Paranoia about all things dirty is indeed a First World trait. We are incessantly bombarded by advertising for cleaning products. It’s gone overboard. Why, even the Healthline website spread the alarm that washing clothes left unattended in a machine, even for a few minutes, is like “the fertile crescent for germs.”
That’s right, even cleaning things up isn’t enough! Wrap yourself in cellophane right now or you’re doomed!
Jokes aside, if you have a compromised immune system, take extra precautions. But sensible precautions are enough for most of us. I worked on ships for four years and never once got sick, and much of that was when I was malnourished and completely sleep deprived. I have survived countless norovirus outbreaks without incident. Am I made of stronger stuff? Certainly not. Just ask my ex-wife. No, I just made sure to wash my hands properly. Note the emphasis.
Because the real culprits are our own bad habits. To cry out loud, wash your hands after using the bathroom and before eating. You’d be surprised how few people actually do that. According to research conducted by the American Society for Microbiology in 2005, even among those who say they always wash their hands after using the bathroom, they actually do so only 83% of the time. Before eating or handling food, it’s only 77%, and the number drops alarmingly from there. After petting a dog or cat it’s as low as 42%, and after coughing or sneezing just 32%. After touching money? Only 21%. What amazes me is that after changing a diaper, the number is only 73%! You’d think people would get it right. Again, those are numbers from those who think they wash their hands all the time.
Even if you wash your hands, are you doing it correctly? You’ve seen TV shows where the surgeon rubs, rubs, rubs up to the elbow. He doesn’t need to go that far, but he needs to use that soap long enough for it to do its job. In Conquest, the captain even had to publicly humiliate himself by singing “Happy Birthday” over the PA system to find out how long to lather his hands. The CDC even says to hum it twice.
The best, of course, is sterilization from the inside out: a few shots of alcohol. Help with a large number of problems.
