The ACT Strategy
Part 1 of 3
Prison. Juvenile detention centers. The bad streets of the city. All of these things and more are possibilities for children these days. I know, because I’ve been there myself. A simple, stupid mistake I made as a teenager led to four harsh years in a correctional facility, during which time I spent almost every day feeling like I had completely destroyed my chances at a life. It’s a hard, empty feeling that no one should have to go through.
However, I changed my life. It wasn’t easy, it never is, but I was finally released from prison after what seemed like forever. The first few months after leaving were tough. After all, jail doesn’t exactly prepare a young person for a role as a model citizen. But today I’ve taken a management position at a hugely successful company and spend much of my free time as a youth mentor and professional speaker, trying to help at-risk kids avoid the same mistakes I’ve made and start taking the steps towards a better future right now.
The big change for me wasn’t some miraculous lottery win or some other kind of amazing incident like the ones shown in the movies. No, my change was down to two men. A professor named Charles Lyles and myself. Today I owe him practically everything I have become.
While volunteering in schools, I realized that most teachers really want to reach students: make connections, help guide them, teach them what they need to know to be successful. But the problem is that many educators are expected to do more than just deliver the lesson plan, and don’t have time to go the extra mile, many can’t relate to some students, and others are so frustrated with the challenges. in front of them they simply give up. Every school has students who may be considered ‘unreachable’ or ‘unteachable’. But by using these 3 keys, teachers can communicate with their students and really start to make a difference in their lives. It could be the saving grace for numerous children out there. No child is impossible to reach; I believe it can be done using the same methods that Mr. Lyles used to help me transform my life. I call it, The ACT Strategy.
Step One: Ask Questions
It may sound like common sense, but the fact is that many teachers don’t ask the questions they need to ask. Often teachers simply assume that they know what a child’s problem is or that the child in question will not be willing to talk to them. Others assume that just by asking simple questions, they are breaking a boundary that must not be crossed. Essentially, this is a huge mistake that needs to be completely rethought. Not asking questions is like trying to solve a geometry problem without knowing what X is. You have to know the problem, better understand a child’s life, and learn as much as you can to figure out what’s holding you back in the classroom. .
Just a little attention will go a long way to finding the questions you need to ask. If a student is always accompanied by his grandmother or a much older brother at parent-teacher conferences, for example, the obvious question is simply to ask where the child’s parents are. It can be awkward, but it could lead you to discover that the child has no parents in her life. A child raised by a grandparent may not be able to get the homework help from her that a parent might. This could cause a student to struggle with their schoolwork or become so frustrated that they give up altogether.
Simply by asking the question of where a child’s parents are, you can open the door that prevents them from learning. You can schedule tutoring, spend more time with the student, or take many other steps that will help the student get the help she needs with her schoolwork. Instead, many teachers simply assume a student is lazy, unwilling to learn, or a problem child when the truth could be that their home life is having a negative impact on their ability to learn effectively.
Asking questions can be difficult. That’s why following this simple three-tier formula could be worth it. It simplifies the process and helps you get started asking a student more about their problems.
Level One Question: Yes or No?
Asking yes or no questions is a great way to start a dialogue, get a feel for a student, or simply open the lines of communication. Students are more likely to answer these questions as they do not require a detailed explanation from the student. They can answer yes or no, or they can elaborate. These don’t have to be school-related at all, and in fact, it’s usually better if they aren’t, since you’re just opening the lines of communication.
• Example – Is this a new shirt? Did you get a new haircut? Questions like this seem trivial, but they are actually helping a student realize that you are interested in him. Even if the child responds in a negative way, try to frame her response in a positive way. If a child says, “No, I’ve had this shirt for a long time,” you can respond with a positive response like, “That’s amazing! My kids never take care of their clothes like that.”
Level two question: open questions
These questions are the next step and start a dialogue. They are direct questions that encourage deeper responses from children. Think of them as “who, what, when, where, why, and how” questions.
• Example: “How do you take such good care of your clothes?” “What did you use to do your hair? It looks amazing!”
Another thing to consider is asking questions that establish further interaction with the student, to keep the dialogue moving forward.
• Example: “What team are you playing against tonight?” or “What movie are you going to see this week?” The next questions will be later and will include things like “How was the game?” or “What did you think of the movie?” When things go wrong, like a lost game, always remember to use positive encouragement to keep them motivated. And even if things are going well, positive reinforcement is still important. Just a simple “Good job!” it is usually enough to make a child think highly of himself.
Basically, these questions are designed to bring a more relaxed and comfortable level of communication with the student before starting to ask the next level of questions.
Level Three Question: Personal Questions
Finally, these are the questions you’ve been working to ask. They are usually more difficult to ask the student, but they are the most important. By asking level one and level two questions, you should be able to work through these questions a little more easily, although you shouldn’t expect it to be a simple conversation.
These questions should focus on the real issue at hand and will be personal in nature.
• Example: “Is it okay if I ask you why you live with your grandfather?”, “I’m worried about your grades. Is there anything I can help you with?” “Would it be okay to talk to a mentor to help you with your problem?”
These questions should go beyond asking what the problem might be. You should also discuss the solutions. It is not enough to learn that a student’s parents are divorcing and that the separation is the reason for the drop in grades. You should suggest some possible solutions to the problem and work with the student to overcome her problem.
Let me go back to my own story for a minute, to help show you how questions can really influence a young person’s life.
Most youth incarceration programs have education programs within them. Some are just GED classes, others are a little deeper. Some are very similar to the type of trade programs you would enroll in at a community college. They are designed to help inmates learn skills to use when they are released, but the fact is that most people in those institutions don’t mind learning. You grow hard, you live hard. And living hard doesn’t mean learning. To make matters worse, most of the teachers in those programs are afraid of the inmates or just don’t care. They think it’s impossible to communicate with someone, so they don’t bother trying.
Mr. Lyles was one of the teachers in an educational program where I was incarcerated, but he was different. Every day that he was in those classes he asked me questions, constantly. “How are you this morning?” “Did you sleep well?” “How was breakfast?” It was annoying, to be honest with you. He had his guard up and I refused to believe that he really cared. I almost never answered, but that didn’t stop those questions from coming to me.
It took me almost a year to finally understand what I was doing, to see that Mr. Lyles actually cared about me. In my first year in prison, I spent as much time in solitary confinement as I did in his classroom, mostly for fighting or possession of contraband. And almost every time I was put in ‘the hole’, he would pay me a brief visit. I would ask a couple of the questions of him, usually “were you hurt?” or something similar, and then leave. But one day he entered the cell with me. He stared at me for a long time, studying my face. He finally said, “You do realize that prison doesn’t have to be your life, right? That someday you’ll be released?” I said nothing. What did he care? Then, as he was leaving, he paused again, looked at me and said, “You really could do great things with your life. I believe in you.” I’m not ashamed to say that I cried for a long time when the steel door slammed shut again.
Someone believed in me.
That was the breakthrough, and thanks to that conversation I realized that someone finally believed in me. But just walking into a cell and saying those words to me would have meant nothing if it weren’t for the constant questions he’d used to lay the groundwork for the test. Asking questions, taking an interest in me and showing that he cared, I really believed him when he said those four words. And I didn’t want to disappoint him.
The next step in the ACT strategy covers an important aspect of this story: the ability to connect with your students. When you create that link, you will also be able to create success stories like mine.
