All people are different, God made us unique with a purpose. Therefore, no two youth soccer coaches have exactly the same behavior on the sidelines. Some trainers are humorous and upbeat, some are quietly confident, some are aggressive and loud, and some are just taking it all in and enjoying the moment. All of these expressions of who we are probably have a time and place when you coach youth soccer, but there are some expressions you should keep to yourself. Many of these won’t do your reputation or your team much good.
Here are some examples:
Approximately 16 years ago I began coaching youth soccer as an assistant coach on an 8-10 year old expansion team. Like most expansion teams with rookie players and coaches, we struggled that first year. We knew that we were going to have problems from the beginning, since most of the expansion teams in the league used to lose every game. Our head coach was a highly respected real estate executive with the largest firm in the state. He had given presentations to large crowds and had dozens of direct reports, a pretty smart guy. Our first game our players were on edge as expected with all the first year players. Before the game, I saw the Head Coach bent over near the sidelines with a grimace on his face and an almost greenish tint to his cup. I asked him if he was sick, he said his stomach was killing him and he was nauseated. I asked him if he had been sick this week, he said no, it was the game that was giving him stomach cramps and nausea. This grown man, a big shot was letting a youth soccer game get to him.
The head coach leads by example, the players always follow his directions and our head coach was nervous and sick before our first game. This was a time when our children were feeling the same emotions, needless to say we were blown away that day. Our coach was so engrossed in how he was going to do for the team that he got sick that day and it hurt his team’s performance and enjoyment of the game.
Another youth soccer coach I know is actually so excited before his games that he goes out in his car, sits in a park, and cries before games to let all his emotions out. Obviously this guy may need some sort of professional help and I wouldn’t let a guy like that train with me, but a lot of youth soccer coaches let his emotions get the better of them.
While it’s normal to feel some angst before games, if you get sick or overexcited before games, you’re taking it too seriously. Do some of us get up in the morning and on the way to work think about running soccer plays or ways to improve our youth soccer teams? Yes. Do many of us put a lot of time and effort into our teams and improving as coaches? Sure. But thinking about youth soccer and becoming a better coach has little to do with letting your emotions get the best of you before a game.
We all want our teams to do well and the kids to have a great experience, but life isn’t going to change dramatically and the earth won’t stop turning if you don’t coach the perfect game. If you dedicate time and learn from others and from your own experiences and you are a good soccer coach. their teams will eventually play well. Over time, if your teams are well trained and play well, victories will take care of themselves. As a head soccer coach, all you can control is your team preparation and schemes and settings, you can’t control the weather, referees or other teams’ performance.
Does this mean you’re obsolete if your youth soccer team loses? No, it means you are in control of what you can control and as long as your team runs and plays well, that is all you can expect. In the end, playing well usually equates to winning games, but worrying about it accomplishes nothing and actually hurts your team’s performance. If the children see that you are not enjoying the experience, they are not going to enjoy it either, and a team without smiles on their faces is a team that plays poorly.
Don’t forget to have a nice meal before the game and also bring some Gatorade for yourself. I pray on the way to games or on game morning asking God for wisdom, patience, and long-term focus on my actions. I also ask that God be glorified for my actions and the actions of my team that day. I’m not sure God takes sides in youth soccer games, I never pray to win, but I pray that all my kids show up and that no one from either team gets hurt that day. For those who aren’t so inclined, perhaps looking at how you’ll be remembered 10 years after the game ends is a good perspective to guide your actions for the day. Of course, I’m also going through my game plan, key adjustments and substitution plans for the day in my mind.
For most of us, the level of discomfort in any given task is inversely related to how well we have prepared for the task. The first public clinics I did I was quite nervous, I had never done large clinics in front of strangers and the presentations were with new material. (Sort of like getting a new team or playing your first game) I hadn’t had time to practice introductions or received feedback on where there would be additional questions or even if the introductions would be welcome (Sort of like not doing a lot of reps on form and frozen or even have a scrimmage). As expected, the first few clinics were okay, but they could have been so much better. I now always practice performing live and now, even in front of crowds of 190 skeptical youth soccer coaches in Boston, I am calm and confident.
Since this relates to your youth soccer team, the better prepared your team is, the less nervous you’ll be. The more you have prepared yourself and your youth soccer team, the less nervous you will be. Pretty easy to say, hard for some to do. Either way, once you’ve pushed yourself and your team, you have to tell yourself that’s all you can do. As the book on De LaSalle High Schools’ 151-game winning streak says,
“There is comfort in knowing that you have given everything you have.” In the end you just have to let the game play and see the results. If you’ve done the research and put in the time, like any other Endeavour, you’ll probably make a successful youth soccer coach.
This premise is probably clearer in the results of the opening matches of my teams, we are always well prepared, calm and confident. Even in our first game, our football plays look sharp, our lineups are perfect, we always have 11 on the field, we block and tackle well, we even move well and rarely get penalized. We almost always win our first games by wide margins, even against the best youth soccer teams in our league.
Scores from previous years
We are able to do this thanks to our wise use of practice time, our integrated outlines, and the progressive nature of the teaching methods we use to develop our teams. We go into these games with a lot of confidence. Very often we are literally months ahead of our competition in that first game. Our opponents have told us many times that our children seem to be quite carefree and very trusting. My thoughts are that we look that way because we are, the kids know they are ready to play that first game. Our coaches are calm, collected and confident before games because as we all know all the kids follow our lead, that calm attitude is part of coaching youth football well. If their coaches are restless and worried, the kids will be too. Even if deep down you aren’t sure that any of your soccer plays will work that day, you need to appear so on the outside to your youth soccer players and team.
