No doubt we have all had experience with people who ‘know it all’, who claim to be skillful and competent in many areas, who are well rounded, eager to engage, and who make very impressive claims about their experience and abilities, but then repeatedly fail. to fulfill what he promised. Or those who are constantly bragging, full of great ideas and plans about where they are going, what they are doing, it all sounds very exciting and satisfying. However, they never happen.
Are these people fantasists or liars, are they lazy and unable to make an effort? Or are they overwhelmed by what they have shouted from the rooftops, but then unable to follow the path due to their lack of skill, hiding behind a thin layer of bravado as they fear the truth will be revealed?
Sometimes it’s okay to listen to someone else’s fantastic claims. Being an audience for their perpetual bragging and protesting can be irritating, but we can shrug it off. It can be fun if it doesn’t affect us unduly. Still, their behavior is likely to influence any future decisions we might make about trusting them or recommending them to others.
It’s quite different if we need them to keep a promise, make an introduction to a key contact, or undertake an important professional service or social arrangement that then doesn’t materialize on a regular basis. Or if we are involving others, it can become a serious matter, as any disappointment reflects negatively on us, leading to disappointment and an unprofessional appearance.
Why do people sometimes talk the talk but don’t walk the walk?
– Not being able or prepared to walk the walk is a sadly familiar fact, though no one initially sets out to be unreliable, unprofessional, or flaky. Do they speak impulsively, without thinking about how complex and complicated things are or do they anticipate being skillful and skillful enough to figure things out? Or were they genuinely excited at the time of the offer, wanting to impress others, which then resulted in fantastic claims and protests? It is when it comes time to walk the path that problems can arise.
– Some people can’t help themselves; they crave attention and seek the admiration of others, so they make claims and offers without thinking about what is involved. Behavior that may be tolerated in a young person is much less acceptable in someone older when we trust them to comply.
How to deal with these situations?
– call people because their false claims and lies may appear unnecessarily cruel to viewers, who may view them with amusement or affection. Sometimes a little humor and affectionate banter from us can help defuse a situation and allow it to become less upsetting. Ultimately, though, there may come a time when walking away from that relationship becomes the only effective course of action. But that’s not always possible in a work or social situation, and sometimes a well-timed laugh, cough, or raised eyebrow can be enough to make a point.
– At other times, a soft, gentle approach. may be the best way to get results. Instead of asking a company, ‘Are we still good for Tuesday?’ which can be embarrassing and leaves little room to honestly reveal any issues, a more subtle, ‘how are you doing’, ‘where are you’, ‘let’s catch up over coffee’ could be a more subtle way of dodging excuses and hopefully intercept potential disappointments.
– Demonstrate active listening. and repeat what was agreed, saying ‘let’s confirm our plans, let’s clarify what has been decided’. Maybe follow up with a confirmation text message. But to invest so much time and energy in the relationship, it has to be important, and sometimes it’s not worth the effort.
– If an important job is planned it can be good policy to record the details in writing, with standards, competency levels and other key specifications clearly defined and agreed upon. That way, all commitments are official and serious, plus there’s a response if things go wrong.
– Make sure there is a positive outcome for them. also, so that they are motivated to make an effort, improve and fulfill what was promised. Sometimes people who talk the talk get nothing but their audience, with no tangible rewards. Hanging the carrot of a future contract, an introduction to other job opportunities, a reward, praise, something they really care about can heighten their desire and determination to get ahead.
If his boasting and self-importance have little impact on your life other than being an irritation, you can learn to shrug it off, smirk, and ignore it. But if you find that it’s starting to affect your choices and decisions, causing embarrassment or inconvenience, there may be no alternative but to separate from the relationship and walk away.
